By Bhakta Bill

Once upon the time there was a great proffesor, Dr. Baltazar McKnowitall from UC Bazerkly... He was a great Chairman of the department for Natural History, and winner of a Nobel price in Tele-Astrophysics, and he was so amazing, specifically on molecular and cell biology up to the quantum level ...he knew it all...he was very smart...aand everyone was so impressed with him...

One day Dr. McKnowitall was deeply thinking and contemplating and he decided that he must discover an elephant...

In this way he became so excited about the idea that he immediately booked a ticket to fly to India the very next day...this veery same night many friends and colleagues came, by trying to persuade him not to go since the trip won't be so easy to go upon, but he was greatly determined to go...

Dr. McKnowitall, he took with him the most high tech equipment up to date, to search for an elephant for this great catch... His inventory included the most powerful MX2000 Supersonic teleskope and the most powerful microscope, LATITUDE505 up-to-date...his laptop SERIOUS700 was very fast and top notch...and he took a lot of different experimenting chemicals and buckets... There was also a ladder for climbing, and a Sony video camera... He was all set and ready...his journey took him to the most beautiful place in the whole of India, called Sri Mathura Dham.

There and then he wondered, hither and thither and around that ancient holy place and finnaly he came upon something that he thought to be an elephant...and yes! It was the Kuvalayapida elephant, well-known in the whole downtown Mathura City...all the inhabitants of the Mathura City become puzzled when they saw Baltazar fencing the elephant and tying him up to a near-by couple of bushes...but Baltazar did not bother for simple village people understanding their innocent and simple nature, and they're not being very well educated, and he just kept tediously and punctually working on a project that was so important, and will soon go down in the annals of human history...

He climbed the Kuvalayapida with the help of his ladders and very expertly he positioned LTITUDE505 on the elephants spine. Coming down from the elephant he positioned MX2000 SUPERSONIC right behind the elephant's trashold...and he was ready...he announced to the whole village that the time has come, that he has come all the way from UCi and that he has a Herculean task of discovering an elephant cause he is not for sure if one actually exist...like that...

At that very moment the village children, headed by Krishna and his older brother Balaram, just simply cracked and started rolling and crying and shouting "Hariiiiii Booooooool !!!!...and they thought ":):):):):):) ;););););) we are gonna have a lots of fun... Hurrey Hurray Harry!!!!"

...But again, the Baltazar was not disturbed the least, and he gave candies to children, made friends with villagers and he patiently proceeded with his work... with deep breath, day after day, month after month, Dr. McKnowitall spent sleepless nights working and working...sometimes he would be so elited that he would fall from the elephant and would immediately jot down a new find by watching through the microskope...and sometimes he specifically got so high gazing through the telescope cose he could not believe his eyes...

Every once in a while, Beautiful Krishna and The Transcendental company would come and try to tease Baltazar. Baltazar was just smiling at first, but at one point it was too much and then he had to chase after the children...specifically Krishna was soooo nutty that He would imitate Dr.McKnowitall by dressing Himself in his clothing and putting on his glasses in front of His friends, while Baltazar was taking a little nap...Krishna was expert and the best one in cracking jokes, all the friends confirmed this including Balaram, and they all laughed and laughed and laughed....

Nevertheless Dr. McKnowitall's optimism grew day by day...he was observing from all possible angles ...from all possible sides...going up and down, up and down ..to and fro, to and fro.. (as well, all the children were silently observing him while eating their morsels of foodstuffs and sweets)

...and finally !....One Day ! ...after months of research and analysing...He Was Convinced...He was so convinced .....he exclaimed EUREKA EUREKA ....EuuuuuUReeeeeeeEKA! and he fell down as if paralyzed ...druling ...and everybody around him was breath-taken...

... imediately he called upon a world conference and invited all of his friends, colleagues, supporters, students to come to the Mathura Dham ASAP...

The conference summoned in two days...it was a gorgeous event of hundreds of hundreds of people that all come for this spacial invite and event of Doctor McKnowitall...it was a conference of the greatest scholars on the world all ready to give a new prize and praise to the Doctor...

Dr. McKnowitall started his speech with the utmost gravity, soberness and feelings...he said:" today is the day...the most important day in human history...for we are facing the new revolution...the truth itself...an amazing accomplishment...you all know that I came here many months ago for the purpose to find and in search for an elephant...to establish the existence of an elephant... Does elephant exist or not !??...the search that will finally establish the facts...for this purpose I took with me and was at my disposal, the ultimate high tech equipment in the world today, worth millions of millions of dollars and is very expensive... with this teleskope I could see the furthest.., with this microskope I could see the minutest .. hmm,... computers, cameras, oscillizers, radars, nuklear springes, and what not.. I got it all...AND...Finally! I have discovered !!!..... that... there is NOT An Elephant !... The Elephant Does Not Exist !!!....(all spectators are looking)...BUT (doctor proudly continues)...I have discovered the most sublime and ultimate find in the history of the science of the human race ...and I named it "ELEPHANTUS BASILICUS FARTICUS".............Ladies and Gentlemen...Let me introduce you... The Biggest Black Hole Ever that attract us all !!!.... Thank you very much..."

AT THAT VERY MOMENT the curtains opened up and everyone was able to see the elephant Kuvalayapida stationed on a big round table with his trashhold facing the spectators...they all tumultuously rose up from their chairs and gave a longlasting round-applause....exclaiming BRAVO BRAVO....Well Done...Incredible...!!!

After moments and moments of cheering and aplouding... finally Dr. McKnowitall was able to control the situation and he kindly requested all to step up and take a peek through the Supersonic...saying:" My ladies and gentlemen, please line up from this side... righthand side...come..come...this way... like this...very good".

This particular event was very very emotional event (according to the historians) and many could not help but had to hide their tears...

...as they were taking a peek and shaking hands with Dr. McKnowitall and hugging and tapping, the village children were literally daying (unfortunately that part was not recorded by the historians)...

and Krishna to save His dear devotees and friends from eminent danger of hard laughing He very cleverly and easily untied the elephant while everyone was busy looking through the Supersonic and He took the elephant smiling all the while...

after a while...everyone started being surprised and great commotion and confusion started....and all of a sudden the doctor's friends and peers started shouting loudly..."there is Nothing, there is Nothing"...."I Can not see Nothing"...someone else was shouting:" no no no there's gotta be something"...and others:" ma no there is nothing"....somone else said:" o no maybe the teleskope is broken"...somone else:" ma you gotta be kidding me this is a very expensive teleskope"... and one else: "no no, you never no"....and so on and so on... people went into the ocean of bereavement and lamentation...

And specifically, Dr. McKnowitall was dearly lamenting and in confusion he waas exclaiming:" where is my elephant, where is my elephant..oh where have you gone "...and everyone started to search for the elephant beneath the table and behind the stage...but of no avail...

All the while Krishna's company was laughing so hard ...and that it is very hard to describe...and Krishna having compassion on His devotees He started to play sweet notes on His transcendental flute, and those notes relieved fatigue of the boys who labored hard by laughing...once everyone was Ok! Krishna took them all for their hands and they all went running and running, playing and playing, laughing and laughing ever since....and the happy elephant running right besides all of them

It's according to a true story

... too much analysis makes one paralysis

this si unedited rough version

all right reserved

illegal publication and distribution of this text material is strictly enforced by federal law

and is panishable with a lots of good karma points

Chant Hare Krishna and Simply be Happy,

Bhakta Bill

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