Ode To A Fake Guru, Prithu Das
BY: ENVER AJANOVICH
Jan 25, USA (SUN) — An open letter to Prithu das.
Just recently I had tried to communicate my grief and trauma to some people I know. They all told me that I am too negative about the things that I have experienced as a subject in Prithu's spiritual regime. I presume you all know who I am talking about but if you don't, he is a German man initiated by Srila Prabhupada, still active and "preaching" in ISKCON despite being divorced, having attempted the misappropriation of ISCKON property, and not being able to follow the principles. Just to name a few.
I want to make my expression more understandable to people who find the philosophy expounded in the movie named "The Secret", and other new age literature, more appropriate than what Srila Prabhupada had to say on this matter. I often find it hard to finish the sentence (due to being interrupted) when I am addressing these points in conversations. So, here I am trying hard to give it all a more positive spin (everything is either positive or negative these days… whatever happened to realistic, honest, etc.?) I agree, I was too negative.
Dear former Guru Maharaja,
You are truly an inspiration. You never gave up on the guru business. This is the only thing you know and you stick to it until the day you die. Your determination to help others spiritually advance is most admirable, never mind the fact that you were not able to follow the principles since 1980, as you have admitted yourself. Never mind the fact that you abandoned responsibilities to your family long ago, in favour of self-abuse. Many that you have given shelter to did the same to honor you. I suppose there is still some space for making the divorce rate in ISKCON increase by setting a good example, and that is where your expertise comes in handy.
Never mind that Krishna prevented you from cashing in your chips when selling the property in Vrindavan… property that you had your former disciples collect for, instead of preaching or distributing Srila Prabhupada's books. Being gored by a cow in Vrindavan was no deterrent. There is still some money to be made from ISKCON and you are determined to prove it to us all. Short motivational speech (sometimes referred to as SB class), right after your early morning self-abuse, and money is freely given by all illuminated and inspired souls that never found out who you really are. After all, you can't get too intimate with all of us. As the famous saying goes: "A sucker is born every minute... and two (fake gurus in ISKCON) to take 'em."
I really admire your fatherly affection that you expressed to all the young boys that you liked to receive the massages from. I respect your undying loyalty to your pedophile disciple, Nitai Chandra das, that you protected since 1992 and who went on to molest more than 50 children as a homage to you. He still lives to honor the tradition. I suppose the "Zero tolerance petition" that you started is meant to absolve you of reactions that are due.
I am most grateful for all the intimate "katha" about each and every one of your godbrothers that you so deeply despise. It was my staple philosophical diet for years. Why make others starved by retiring or changing your profession? It surely makes for a more united, stronger society full of brotherly love. Why leave others to run ISKCON into the ground if you can help accelerate it. Vyasasan is the pedestal you were born for. Some people opt for koolaid laced with cyanide as a means to salvation, but you have offered a much better alternative. We offered you our food while you masturbated behind closed doors for years, and thus by eating the leftovers we were imbibing all the wonderful transcendental qualities you kept hidden from us. Qualities essential to true spiritual progress. All glories to your purity.
You have never read or put emphasis on reading Srila Prabhupada's books or chanting japa regularly. For your disciples that had struggled with rounds, you mercifully extended leniency in that regard and allowed them to chant when they felt like doing it, as long as they were good collectors. As a substitute, you would illuminate us with your pep talks while keeping us busy selling paintings in Taiwan, sleeping in sleazy love motels, eating bhoga in Buddhist restaurants to make sure there was enough money for a big house for you and to support your renounced lifestyle. One can only wish for a better bramachari training. Who needs a preaching when there is so much money lying around waiting for a young bramachari to earn for his Guruji.
You claim that your godborther, Hari Sauri prabhu, says that you are the best in preaching and I concur. Due to elevation because of close association of Srila Prabhupada, he must have much clearer vision than me. No doubt when it comes to preaching vilely against your godbrothers and making new cult followers that you can extract money from, for the decadent lifestyle you aspire for, you truly have no match. Preaching the glories of apple computers, juicers, trampolines, enema kits, old age prevention and life extension, you are the best so why not aspire for the best? Who wouldn't agree.
You always graciously take time to encourage and bless us, all of your former disciples. Even after experiencing so much inconvenience for taking on our bad karma. Midlife crises is surely what all the bonafide gurus went thru as a consequence of their compassion to their disciples. I just can't find a sloka to confirm that right now. You assure us that there is no loss in dedicating time, money and energy to someone who just had a little life long problem like addiction to self-abuse, but is back on track now, ready for more support. Shastras must abound with examples of stalwart bonafide gurus like you. I just haven't found any yet.
You mercifully accept all the laxmi, even nowadays, assuring your dedicated followers that it will be used in Krishna's service. Be it for the purchase of a brand new Apple computer, trip to Thailand for colonic irrigation vacation, expensive dental implants or a pack of goji berries that have the indispensable, alkalizing properties much needed for developing pure love of God. Never mind that most of your former disciples left the movement, divorced their wives and gave up on practice of Krsna consciousness. After all, there are new people that compulsorily must accept guidance of experts like you, as per GBC directive. Why not take advantage of that market niche? After all, many of your godbrothers, erotic novel writters, thieves, etc., got reinstated, so why not you? I was glad to be privy to you reveling that ambition of yours recently. Upon examining your history fully, everyone should come to the conclusion that you are the man for the job of a guru. I most admire your strategic thinking in that regard.
Just as you taught me, I am staying away from all the corrupt characters in ISKCON and spending most of my time waiting for you to be reinstated in full glory so that I can render service to you: our only worthwhile living saint. I assure you I am well trained and all the time spent listening your critical dissection of your godbrother's characters has not been in vain. I have given you a decade of my life and don't mind you taking the time off to examine your options before you are ready to take over the world again. I am having some doubts, but I will disregard them in favour of positive thinking, as you have always preached.
I still reminisce about the day when I flew all the way across the world to have your darshan and got to watch so many amusing video clips that you took days to collect from the Internet. I especially liked your collection of paraphernalia about the "Lord of the Rings" that you so proudly showed us. Your spirit of sharing truly touched the hearts of all of the people present. Now I fully understand the import of Bible verse that said we must be like children to enter the kingdom of God (Matthew 18:2-4). I was too young to fully understand your true nature when I first meet you. Now I know.
The tests that you put me trough to purify me and test my faith, I will never forget. My favorite one was when you told me to start looking for another guru because according to you, I have not given you enough money lately. You cited the example of Bhakti Caru Maharaja, who had an epiphany (probably while sitting in the Jacuzzi) and decided to tax his disciples regularly lest they loose the privilege of being his disciples. You embraced the idea and decided to implement it on your disciples. My wife and I were a little shocked and traumatized by your sudden revelation, and scraped together whatever laxmi we had and gave it to you then. Only later did I understand that it was a divine test, when you wrote to acknowledge the receipt of 2,000 euro just a month prior to that. I understood that no matter what my material situation, I shall always keep up to date with donations to you, otherwise I will not make it back to Godhead. Albeit traumatic, I'll bet it was for my and my family's ultimate benefit.
I could go on forever because your qualities are truly limitless, but I need to go to and make some money now to be able to afford my salvation.
While waiting for your second coming,
I beg to remain your eternal servant.
