Feb 18, 2014 — EUROPE (SUN) — Urmila dasi, you have posted a link to Srila Prabhupada saying "good father, good daughter" nearly 40 years ago about you on your Facebook page, yet one has to question how the word "good" also applies to your being a "good wife". Four words out of a conversation which had included questions from your husband Pratyatosa dasa, who you initiated a legal separation from against his will. Is that "good"?
Your husband, Pratyatosa dasa had explained:
"One reason for wanting to leave home was to give up family attachment after age 50, like Shrila Prabhupada has requested of all of his male grhastha disciples, and I didn't think that I would be able to do this while living with or traveling with my wife." (VNN article)
If your husband couldn't be celibate while living with you then your separation from each other is artificial and reflects an incomplete understanding of Srila Prabhupada's instructions on celibacy. Srila Prabhupada wrote twice to your godsister Himavati about this:
"There is no need of separation. Live together and train up your mind, that is all. Artificial separation is never recommended. And when you see, living together, you have no desire for sense gratification, then that is the highest stage of perfection. Voluntary restraint is tapasya, austerity, and this is possible with advancement of Krishna Consciousness. Artificial separation is foolishness. We recommend voluntary restraint, not artificial separation. So you should understand that there is no objection to live together as husband and wife. The tendency is there, it is natural. But if one can check it, that is very good. But it is not compulsory. And not to be checked artificially, but with advancement of strength in Krishna Consciousness. " (Jun 14, 1968)
"Regarding your thoughts of separating from your husband, I do not think this is a very good plan. You should always live with your husband and help him with his personal comforts, and he will look after your all necessities of life. There is no question of separation. By mutual agreement and advancement of Krishna Consciousness you can stop sex life, but there is no question of separation. Separation is artificial. As Hamsaduta advances in Krishna Consciousness then by his company you will also profit. So the husband and wife are mutually beneficial. This idea of separation was developed also in Govinda Dasi, but I have sent her back to her husband, and she is now following my instructions. There is no question of separation between husband and wife until the time when the husband takes sannyasa. At that time the wife cannot remain with the husband. Even in vanaprastha stage, or retired life, the wife remains with the husband, but without any sex relations." (Jan. 24, 1969)
You husband wrote that you initiated:
"a legal separation from me against my wishes". (from now removed Internet post that can be viewed here in PDF)
On July 13, 1975, the same day and just before Srila Prabhupada's conversation you posted four words from what Prabhupada had said:
"Cāṇakya Paṇḍita says, mātā yasya gṛhe nāsti bharyā cāpriya-vādinī. If there is no mother at home and the wife is not very suitable, does not speak very nicely with husband, disrespectful, then he is recommended to leave home and go to the forest. Araṇyam tena gantavyaṁ yathāraṇyam tathā gṛham. Such person should immediately leave home and live in the forest because for him the forest and home is the same. Mātā yasya gṛhe nāsti bharyā cāpriya-vādinī. So women should be trained up to be very faithful and chaste. Then the life will be very happy. That is the only education for woman. And man should be educated how to become first-class man, a brāhmaṇa. Then the whole atmosphere will be very happy. The man, first-class man, brāhmaṇa, śamo damaḥ titikṣa, and woman, very faithful to such husband and chaste. Then the home is happy. "
Prabhupada may have said "good father, good daughter" about you but you have not been following his instructions on what it means to be a good wife, i.e., "faithful and chaste". As far as Prabhupada was concerned, these qualify a woman as being educated.
In a July 10, 1975 conversation, Srila Prabhupada instructed his GBC men:
"Educate the girls to become faithful, chaste wife and how to cook nicely."
If Urmila or any other female disciple is not demonstrating being "good" in these ways, they are not fit to be a guru representative of Srila Prabhupada!
Incidentally, Govinda dasi, commenting on a paper Bir Krsna Goswami co-wrote with Urmila called "Understanding Narayana Maharaja Via His Own Words and Deeds" stated:
"Urmila dasi also confessed that she wrote the paper on request of Bir Krsna Goswami who, she explained, promised that if she did so, would unrestrictedly help her to be appointed first female guru in Iskcon. Shortly after writing and broadcasting her paper, Urmila dasi was officially appointed for guruship in Iskcon." (Govinda dasi VNN article)
