Miracle Plays of Mathura: Uddhav Lila, Part 5
BY: SUN STAFF
Searching for Krsna
May 18, CANADA (SUN) The Uddhav Lila of Swami Kunvar Pal - Part Five.
There is nothing under my control, that I may devise a remedy.
If Mohan be kindly, then I shall go and ask this very boon,
If he would graciously grant it!
Oh, I shall go from Gokul to Mathura and, after going to Mathura, I shall ask the Lord, 'Oh King, please grant a boon.' And the Lord may say, 'Ask!' Then for what shall I ask? I shall ask that:
If Thou makest me a peacock, make me one of Vrindaban.
Dancing and calling, I shall please Thee.
If Thou makest me a monkey, make me one of Vrindaban.
Jumping from tree to tree, I shall demonstrate my power.
If Thou makest me a beggar, make me one of Vrindaban.
Daily shall I beg and eat the scraps of the devotees.
If Thou makest me a parrot, make me one of Vrindaban.
'Radha Krsna, Radha Krsna! 'through the eight watches shall I sing!
If the Lord is pleased with me, then I may say, 'O King, make me such a thing that I may become that thing in Vrindaban. Make me anything, and let me get the dust of the feet of the gopis.' Because the Lord, after giving to those persons who repeat his name the fruits appropriate to their deeds, is quit of them; but here, even after giving his own self to the gopis, he remains their debtor. It has been said:
Should I do benefactions for ten million kalpas in return for your vow,
O heart-stealing damsels, I could not be freed of debt.
The Lord has said, 'O Braj gopis, to my devotees who repeat my name I shall award the fruit appropriate to their deeds, and be quit. But here, if I hand my very self over to you, I shall not be able then to become discharged of debt to you. If for tens of millions of kalpas I do favor for every single one of you, I shall not be able through that to be discharged of debt to you.' Well, if the Lord himself remained those gopis' debtor after giving his own self to them, then why should I not have fulfillment if I become the dust of the feet of the gopis, or if the dust of their feet falls upon me?
Let me go now, and I shall go to Syamsundar and tell him the message of Braj and shall say to him, 'O Lord, the inhabitants of Braj are greatly troubled in separation from you. Why are you lolling here in Mathura? Please go to Braj, and by going there give them joy.'
Uddhav goes, and on the way meets Yasoda.
Udho, please say this to my previous boy:
Convey Mother Yasoda's blessing:
Syam, may you remain my darling son!
Live ten million years!
Please convey my benediction. And this is butter. This is from those cows which he brought up with his own hand. Please give this butter from those cows to my son.
Enter the sons of the cowherds.
SONS OF THE COWHERDS:
O brother Uddhav! If you go there, convey to him our message: that we are much distressed and he should come and let us see him soon. Without Syamsundar… If the Lord does not come to Braj, then
Braj will not remain, nor any Braj woman.
The wives of Braj will not wait in their accustomed seats.
The bowers will not remain, nor the flowers of the plantain.
The Kalindi, kadamba, Bansibat  will not tarry.
The cows will not remain in Braj, nor their calves.
O Lord of Gokul, only the stories will be left in Gokul.
Go and tell Syam there is love even now.
Nothing will be left, Uddhav, but this word.
Brother, return and deliver this message to him.
What you command, brothers, I shall say.
Uddhav sets out for Mathura.
harboring a desire in his mind in this way, he returned to Mathura.
With great love he did the circumambulation and prostration.
He began to sing the virtues of the gopis; he forgot the virtues of Mohan.
What shall I do with life, without the Root of Life?
This is difficult for the sages to attain.
UDDHAV en route:
Splendid, splendid! Laudation to the gopis of Braj, who remember Syamsundar in this way.
While Uddhav circles the stage, the curtain at rear is removed, showing Krsna on his throne in Mathura. Uddhav approaches, walks around him, and bows low.
Brother Uddhav, have you come?
Yes, Lord, I have come.
Brother, are all well in Braj?
Yes, O Lord of Compassion, in Braj all are well; but what does the well-being of Braj mean to you? You are happy, whoever lives or dies in Braj.
Why brother, why are you talking so contrarily?
Yes, King, I have come after seeing in Braj how the Braj residents are lovingly worshipping you. No one in the three worlds worships you so. And you are residing in Mathura, abandoning such affectionate Braj people? Therefore I say to you:
And your tenderness, O Compassionate One, is a big lie!
Until I looked, I treasured such a notion.
I went to Braj and learned your ruthless aspect.
Those who depend on you, you hurl into a well!
What justice is this?
King, the Braj residents are thinking of you, and you, abandoning them, are staying here. Listen! I shall give you an account of Braj. When I arrived there, O King, I heard the condition of Braj.
Listen to the condition of Braj, O Master of the Senses!
Seeing the pennant of the chariot, the yellow cloth, the ornaments,
they rose and came running.
The things that you said about Brahman I told to all.
Shutting up my ears, I sang your virtues and your deeds with
heart absorbed in love.
One girl came from a great distance, saying
'He had some connection with us! Why did he forget totally?'
O King, I went and arrived in Braj. Then the gopis of Braj, seeing me, came at once in great crowds, and:
Some came and gathered in Braj,
Some recited the tale of love.
'Please listen, Udho! Please listen, Udho!
Please listen, Udho!' this sound they raised.
Thakur says , who can describe that pain of separation?
Sarasvati, reading it, reeled.
Then all I could say was,
'You are right, you are right, you are right, right!'
O King, the gopis assembled in great numbers, and began to be sorrowful, and to say, O King, 'Syamsundar abandoned us and went away. When will he come?' Then I spoke many of the things you told me to, that they should meditate on Brahman, do this, do that; but they did not listen to a single thing. Then they said:
Ours is handsome Syam,
The Path of Love is straight.
O King, without you, the condition of Braj is so bad that:
I went to impart yoga, In the ocean of the tears of separation
I just escaped drowning, Lord. The eyes of the women flowed so
That the piercing stream exceeded the thousand currents of the Ganges.
It is not the wrath of Indra, that you may save yourself by seizing a mountain.
So much water has not been seen anywhere on earth.
It could not be drunk up by the sages. I wish to open your ears
To the story of Jatayu and Prahlad. If you do not build the bridge of reunion,
Then you may well remain alone on a banyan leaf!
King, there is now so much water from the gopis' tears that it is not like the time of Indra's wrath. When Indra made it rain, you raised up the King of Mountains. If you do not build the bridge of reunion in Braj - that is, if you do not meet the gopis - then Braj will drown - and not only Braj, but the world will drown. Please remember again that time of the pralaya, when you will remain floating alone on a banyan leaf, because:
The water of the tears of the gopis became a gutter, then a flowing channel.
Those channels became streams; the streams, cutting their banks, became rivers.
The poet Tosh says, if you are going, dear Hari, go quickly, O darling King of Braj,
Those rivers wish to become seas, and from seas they will become universal floods.
The water of the gopis' tears flowed so that the spouts and gutters and drains began to flow; from them a stream began to flow with force. From the streams there came into existence very great rivers, and then a flood like the ocean occurred. If you do not go, then from the tears of the gopis not merely an ocean, but pralaya, will come about. That is, the whole world will drown. So go to Braj.
And King… well, I have just come after seeing the condition of Braj:
Sit and hear the news of Braj, O Bihari,
On the women of Braj the calamity of separation has fallen.
On all sides like the flickering lightning the moon-faced ones shriek
and cry in the ear like the call of a cuckoo, 'Where is Mohan?'
Sankar says, how far can I speak? Speech is not possible.
The urbane lady, the abode of virtues, I saw among the women,
Roaming in Vrindaban through all the eight watches, O Syam,
Calling 'Hari! Hari!' among the green, green hari vines.
The condition of the gopis is such that among the green vines they are calling, 'Syamsundar, Syamsundar!' And you go to Braj now, please; and the gopis there are exceedingly distressed in separation from you. Please go and meet them, Radhika, who is the daughter of the king.
I shall tell Radhika's pain. Give ear and listen.
That moon-faced one became as an image of the dark rivers.
In separation from you she forgot all food and drink.
She remains unconscious due to the incessant downpour of trouble.
Friend, you should heed this much advice from me:
Go, and let her see the Treasury of Mercy!
Otherwise, she will drown in the Ocean of Trouble.
You will not find again the Daughter of Vrishabhanu.
O Bipin Bihari, in your absence the maiden weeps violently;
She seems withered by sorrow, like Gauri.
The poet Candi says, heaving a sigh,
She who had been supporting herself on the body of another
Staggered hither and thither and fell to earth.
Not inhaling, she seems as if inert.
Even then what is written by powerful fate cannot be erased by rubbing.
The one who was once wrapped in perfumes I met yesterday in the groves.
Today the daughter of Vrishabhanu is like a dusty mound.
Without you, Radhika is very sad.
O Uddhav, I sent you to Braj to take a message, but you have begun to tell me the scandals of that place regarding what sort of person I am. When among the inhabitants of Braj, I bound myself by an oath to those Braj residents; I am that same person.
O friend, was I in my senses - did I do well - when I sent you to bring news?
Whence have you got these faults of mine and begun to tell them?
There is no difference between them and me, even for a single moment.
As they are in me, thus am I in them, as water in waves.
The Braj residents and I, O brother, are like water and the water's waves. The two are one.
O King, you speak a falsehood. I have just come leaving the Braj residents weeping in Braj.
Then doesn't it strike you as true? Well, then, shut your eyes, and I will show you myself in the company of the Braj residents right now!
Uddhav sits down and closes his eyes. The gopis flock in joyfully. Seating himself with all the gopis, Krsna then speaks to Uddhav.
O brother, open your eyes and have a look!
Uddhav seeks the Lord in company with all the residents of Braj.
In my heart remains this wish alone:
That I might go on uttering Thy dear name.
Seating Thee in the temple of my mind,
May I keep gazing on Thy heart-enchanting form.
May I pour the water of love into the bowl of the eyes,
And wash, O Lord, Thy lotus feet.
Becoming Thy loving acolyte, O Lord,
May I ever rotate the splendid lamp of worship,
That I may remain hanging on Thy breast, Lord.
Make me a flower of Thy banmala.
Make me a kadamba on the bank of the Kalindi
On which the waves continually dash.
Make me a root of that tree
Which Thou holdest with Thy lotus hand.
O King of Braj, make me the dust of Braj
On which Thy lotus feet will roam!
O Lord, I am in Thy shelter. Give me, along with all Braj residents, vision of Thyself.
Cry, Victory to Vrindaban Bihari Lal!
 Bansi Bat: spot in Vrindaban from which Krsna called the gopis.
 Thakur: unidentified author. At least three poets have used this signature.