Hrishikesh Replies to Chaitanya Mangala
BY: HRISHIKESH DASA
Jan 9, PENNSYLVANIA, USA (SUN) — Dear Chaitanya Mangala Prabhu,
Thank you for your 1.7.07 open letter published in the Sampradaya Sun. I am grateful that you shared your thoughts: "I have been stigmatized by this isolated period in my life. This humiliation has lasted much longer and affected me more deeply than the actual experience."
I apologize for not being aware of the stigma you
experience; I did not intend to cause you any further humiliation. I will not use your name anymore without your permission. Please forgive me.
"You weren't there twenty years ago to help me when I left New Vrindaban in fear of retribution from some of Kirtanananda’s staunchest supporters."
Correct. Please let me tell a story about this. During
the summer of 1993 at New Vrindaban there was much
talk and hearsay about Kirtanananda's alleged
pedophilia. So much so, that I decided to conduct my
own investigation to try to find actual eyewitness
reports, not just speculation and gossip.
I began by traveling to Elkins, West Virginia, to read
the transcript of Kirtanananda's 1991 trial. I read
your testimony with great interest and even some
disbelief. This was the first eyewitness report I had
seen regarding Kirtanananda's pedophilia, and I was
dumbfounded. I saw no reason to doubt your testimony,
and the testimony of others in the transcript. Perhaps
all these rumors and allegations I had heard through
the years were true?
Reading your testimony effected a profound change in
my life. Inspired by your courage, I continued my
investigation and in October 1993 I sent out a 17-page
letter to about 50 godbrothers presenting evidence and
questioning Kirtanananda's integrity. I received some
positive feedback from my endeavor, as well as some
negative feedback, including one long-distance phone
call from a godbrother in Malaysia who threatened: "If
you don’t stop this blasphemy of Bhaktipada, you’re
gonna be dead meat!"
When I read your court testimony from the 1991 trial,
I considered you a hero (and still do) because you
bravely spoke out against Kirtanananda with damning
evidence, despite the danger to your personal self.
You were one in a thousand, and your testimony was one
of the deciding factors which caused me to seriously
doubt my spiritual master's integrity. For this I will
be forever grateful and indebted to you.
When I read the court transcript in 1993 I finally
understood the significance of two incidents from 1986
when I lived for a time with other brahmacaries in the
basement ashram of Kirtanananda's house. You were his
17-year-old personal servant. I will try to recollect
these incidents to the best of my ability, as my
memory is imperfect.
(1) After one February Sunday evening program at
Kirtanananda's house-temple, among about 20 devotees
in the temple room, I couldn't help noticing your
father and step-mother, Dhanakeli and Kanka, pleading
desperately with Kirtanananda to let you come home for
a little while, as you had been acting as Maharaja's
personal servant for maybe 2 or 3 weeks, 24 hours a
day, without a break. Your father was practically
begging Kirtanananda to release you for just a few
hours, but Kirtanananda refused, even grabbing your
arm and preventing you from leaving his company. At
the time I had no idea of what was going on and did
not say anything.
(2) Another time I was sitting all alone in the
basement of Kirtanananda's house. I may have been
waiting for someone in the shower to finish, so I
could take my bath. You passed by and stopped to talk
with me. You seemed very nervous about something, and
your words were guarded and hesitant. You asked point
blank, "Hrishikesh, what should a disciple do if his
spiritual master appears to act in a way contrary to
scriptural regulations regarding the four regulative
principles?"
I replied like a parrot: "Prabhupada said that even if
the spiritual master enters a liquor shop, the
disciple must not doubt his guru, but must assume he
has some legitimate business for preaching Krishna
consciousness there."
You seemed disappointed in my response, you thanked me
politely, and walked away.
At the time, I believed Kirtanananda was a pure
devotee self-realized saint, and I thought that your
question was simply philosophical. But now I realize
that you were testing me; to see if I was open-minded
enough that you might dare confide in me.
"You weren't there twenty years ago to help me. . ." I am very sorry about this, and I apologize. Today, I
wish that I had the maturity and presence of mind on
that day in 1986 to inquire from you submissively as
to why you were asking that question. Perhaps I may
have been able to help.
Please believe me when I say that you (and other
former gurukulis who speak out) are and will always be
a hero to me and to many other seekers of the truth. I
am sorry that you were forced into this position and
have experienced humiliation (which I assume must come
from ignorant persons) as a result of it, but I am
grateful none-the-less, because you opened my eyes.
Please let me know if I can be of any service to you.
Sincerely your servant,
Hrishikesh (Henry Doktorski)
